Things will eventually go as His plan. It's not now nor later. It's 'here it is your opportunity today'. My only job is making sure I'm ready whenever it comes to me.

As His plan isn't ours, I try to stop complaining but trying to do my best.

Well..

I know it will be very hard to put it into words. It's just..... I feel something is wrong with me. I know exactly why, and I'm just trying to deny. Then it becomes so exhausting, I keep repeating to myself that I'm almost there, everything is okay. Aaaaaaaaaaa.

Wish me lucks. A lot of luck.